What Your Nurse Won't Tell You

It has something about you that your nurse will not tell you. Of course, it is not the nursing salary, registered nurse, or how to become a nurse.

Here are some words to the wise from the one who's often handling the needle.

1. We're not going to tell you your doctor is incompetent, but if I say, "you have the right to a second opinion," that can be code for "I don't like your doctor", or "I don't trust your doctor".

2. When a patient is terminally ill, sometimes the doctor won't order enough pain medication. If the patient is suffering, we'll sometimes give more than what the doctor said and ask him later to change the order.

3. I've had people with brains literally coming out of their head. No matter how worried I am, I'll say calmly, "Hmmm, let me give the doctor a call and have him come look at that".

4. If you're happily texting and laughing with your friends until the second you spot me walking into your room, I'm not going to believe that your pain is a 10 out of 10.

5. When you tell me how much you drink or smoke or how often you do drugs, I automatically double or triple it.

6. Your life is in our hands literally. We question physicians' orders more often than you might think. Some of the mistake I've headed off, a doctor who ordered the incorrect diet for a diabetic and one who tried to perform a treatment on the wrong patient.

7. If you ask me if your biopsy results have come back yet, I may say no even if they have, because the doctor is really the best person to tell you. He can answer all your questions.

8. When you ask me, "Have you ever done this before?" I'll always say yes. Even if I haven't.

9. Every nurse has had a doctor blame her in front of a patient for something that is not her fault. They're basically telling the patient, "You can't trust your nurse".

10. I once took care of a child who had been in a coma for more than a week. The odds that he would wake up were declining, but I had read that the sense of smell was the last thing to go. So I told his mom, "Put your perfume on a diaper and hold it up by his nose to see if it will trigger something". The child woke up three hours later. It was probably a coincidence, but it was one of my best moments as a nurse.

11. Some jobs are physically demanding. Some are mentally demanding. Some are emotionally demanding. Nursing is all three. If you have a problem with a nurse, ask to speak to the charge nurse (the one who oversees the shift).

12. For some reason, when I ask "Are you having pain?" a lot of patients say no, even if they are. But I've found that if I say, "Are you uncomfortable?" people are much more likely to say yes. Please tell us if you're in pain. We have all sorts of medications we can use to help you.

13. If a patient is incontient, I'm just supposed to use a wash-cloth to clean them. But if you're really nice, I'll get heated wipes.

What Your Nurse Won't Tell You